#elises100daysoffeelings days 21-25

Took an unintentional hiatus because I had a busy weekend and got used to living back in the Bloom, but I think it is kind of cool to look back and see 1) how I miss using this space and 2) the growth I have already had in how I don’t need to write everyday yet how instrumental writing is to my healing.

Idea for the day: Kindness.

I would not necessarily call myself the kindest person.  I am not the first one to give something up for another, I don’t intentionally look to let others go first, and I like to get my way.  But even in writing that, I am looking for ways to disqualify myself, to push that I am less than some obscure or abstract measurement of what is kindness.  Because I would also say I am not kind to my body.  I think negative thoughts about it more often than positive ones and so often overlook the amazing things it does for me everyday.  But that is not to say I am not kind to it, I just have adopted the mindset that it’s not my favorite thing, it needs changing, it’s not quite there yet etc. so it is easier to focus on the negative.

But in reality, I am a nice person!  It grinds my gears when people are rude, when they talk about other people, or act selfishly and I truly think I do those things as little as possible.  I am conscious of other’s thoughts and opinions, want to do little things to make people’s days better, and slow down to interact and have good conversation. I want to share the things I have with people and live a generous live.  I like to write people notes, hear about good and bad days, and do favors for people.  When I think about the nice things I already do, it makes me want to be nicer.

I am also nice to my body.  I feed it well, exercise it, and let it rest.  I am learning to listen to it, to live with a mind-body-soul connection and that feels good.  I do take time for self-care and for making myself feel good. And when I think about what I already do to be kind to my body, it too makes me want to be even kinder.

So, rather than think of the things I don’t do or need to improve on, I am going to see what I am already doing.  There is plenty when I choose to see it instead of identifying the small lack.

Kindness is a warm feeling.  It starts in my stomach and is the good kind of full and fulfilling.  It is one that radiates out and effects my mind and actions.  Doing kind things feels like purpose and satisfaction.



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