#elises100daysoffeelings day 29

Listening to a podcast the other day, they talked about the word comfort and what it means.  They discussed the Hebrew word for it which got me thinking about how comfort relates to my journey.  I have framed my struggle with food as a battle with my flesh over where I find comfort.

There are several Hebrew words used for comfort.  They cover several parts of speech and range in frequency used in the Bible, but the general idea is rest, ease, quiet and still.  AKA shalom.  That total body at ease and peace.  What I want to live a life in.

It’s used in multiple ways across the Old Testament, but it is generally a place the Lord leads his people to.  It might come with a struggle or through a less than ideal timeline, but that’s part of what makes it beautiful.

Comfort is the “wide space for my feet to step under me”  Comfort is the stronghold of the Lord.  Comfort is being regarded as favor by the Lord, it is his strength, refreshed by His spirit, being safe in his arms.  Comfort is not something I can manufacture.  It’s not something I can train myself to ignore either.  Finding true comfort is going to be a disciplined journey into truth.  Actively aware of when I am seeking physical comfort, learning in new ways of much better Jesus is.

I know this writing this.  But I want to live it.  It makes me frustrated and sad that I don’t yet grasp this.  That there is no five step plan that will get me there.  It terrifies me that the gospel is so hard for me to understand.

I don’t like that I have let something that is so temporal consume so much head space.  That feels stupid and ridiculous to me.  But I know Jesus more today than I did yesterday.  I am a broken person today just as I was yesterday.  His grace is big enough and deep enough for me.  His spirit lives inside of me.  He is not disappointed, I have nothing to prove, He is working in me.

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