I want to simultaneously act and change and move and also just sit and be.
And even in the moving my healthy side wants to get wild about the Lord, to be active about filling myself with truth, to talk about how he is moving in my life, to ask hard questions, to receive grace and truth. At the same time my unhealthy side wants to physically move, to create fitness and eating plans, to create rules about what I will and will not eat this week.
I know the truth. One of these ideas leads to freedom and the other leads to bondage.
So I will move. I will be active. I will throw myself whole-heartedly and full-time into God’s way of doing things. I will not let sin tell me how to live. I am not living under the tyranny of sin anymore. I am living under the freedom of God. [Romans 6:14]
This does look like some physical action. Things like setting reminders in my phone for the times when I most often get influenced by unhealthy voice. It means writing verses on post it notes that go in my room. It looks like praying before my meals and before I work out and asking and believing God to use my body to honor and glorify Him. It looks like putting certain foods that are currently a temptation away for right now. It means asking people to pray for me and that is hard and I don’t like to admit it but I know I need not the help, because prayer is so much deeper than that. I need to intervention and power of the Holy Spirit poured over my life. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead. I need His influence and voice getting loud in my head, in my life, so that by HIS power I may have victory over sin.
That is where the rest comes in. I want to prepare and soften my heart to let God move in me. To recreate the rhythm and routine of me striving to become better or heal myself into turning to the Lord and trusting on His strength inside of me. On this Monday morning, I understand and know that just as creating the habit and routine that lead me to this place took time, it will take time to get to restoration. And only by continuing to wait upon the Lord will I get there. By resting in his truths and promises, going to the Word, soaking up the good news he wrote to and for his children.
God give me the grace, patience, steadfastness to commit to waiting on you. To moving towards freedom, adjusting priorities in my life, keeping my eyes on heaven. I pray for the 3:30’s and 9:00 of my days. The times where I feel worn out and defeated. Meet me there, give me your supernatural peace and presence.