My work feels kind of ambiguous. I have a job, I think I have goals, I think I know what I am doing. But honestly, I lack framework. I don’t know what outcomes I am looking for, what programs I should be working to create, where I should be focusing my times, what the real […]Read more "tea and the internet"
One of my favorite things about my 30 minute drive to work is the time I have to be. I can just spend time with my own thoughts, listen to music, or keep up with my favorite podcasts. I mostly choose the podcasts – I think because not being in school is making me want […]Read more "Life and death"
There has been a beautiful, new community I’ve found this year. Initially, I felt a little awkward because I was very clearly the youngest. My internal dialogue told me they too saw me as immature or not deserving to be in those social circles, but I was so wrong and they are so great. We […]Read more "Celebrations and the best chocolate cake"
Today I feel stuck again and meh. I don’t want to sit in where I am at and I want to keep moving forward. But something I have learned in these 97 days of what has honestly felt like little progress, is that sometimes I am meant to just sit and be. Sometimes my soul […]Read more "#elises100daysoffeelings day 97"
Time flies when you’re having fun and also when you’re not focused. It goes whether you want it to or not. Even if you’re not paying attention, it keeps on ticking. Right now, I am frustrated by that. Frustrated that accomplishing the things I want to accomplish takes so much time and attention. That I […]Read more "#elises100daysoffeelings day 93"
83 days. 83 days of recognizing something in my life needed to change. and honestly saying that is kind of depressing because when i take an honest look, not much has changed. i am still binging. i am eating too fast, standing up, when no one is watching and feeling really, really awful afterwards. i […]Read more "#elises100daysoffeelings day 83"
There are two voices: one is the permissive voice of don’t let yourself miss out, there is no reason to say no, it is kind and inviting even when I know the outcome will hurt me. It is almost like the emotionally repressed part of me that was always told no to is coming back […]Read more "#elises100daysoffeelings day 77"